My husband just one night pushed me out of bed when i was sleeping and he was on facebook.
I didnt know WTF was going on, this was just out of the blue no inications before. He wouldnt let me sleep on the couch and for the next 4 months I could only sleep in my daughters room. He wouldnt let me back in the bedroom.
He had turned 40 and met all his old highschool people online and even went to go see them.
He told me that I was going to leave and that he wasnt my husband anymore. I WAS totally shocked. HE has just started staying at home from his work, because of less travel,
Because of this I was able to find a part time job, working for a respectable university, and had applied and been accepted into nursing school…SO everything was on track for what we both had planned when he started staying home more (me to go to work for my career and him spend more time with the kids)
I kept standing up for myself and 4 children told him I was not leaving that it was my house not just his and i wasnt leaving my children either..
Finally one day he got so angry when i said no that he pushed my forehead and I called the cops.
they arrested him.
He was let back into the house because he works from home and has office there.
The trial date wasnt untill 2 1/2 months later.
We went through thanksgiving , christmas estranged in the same home but still off and on having sex. He would often say that he loved me but didnt like me. The arrest had traumatized him, Having to bend over naked so they could check for drugs. I didnt feel sorry for him at all.
But told him I would never do it again…( I lied I did do it again, please keep reading)

He couldnt threaten or touch me during the time he was allowed back in the home.
After christmas he tried to get me to leave again by agreement.
I said no, he ended up getting so mad again that he grabbed me and pushed me against the wall lightly grabbed my throat (he was restraining himself) and yelled at me that he Hated me…. and wanted me to leave.

(Now…side note…I have never been unfaithful in 16 years…kept my body up….dont have any friends because didnt want to make him jealous wanted to put his mind at ease while he was away from home….have been a recluse at home because I wanted to wait for him to do things with the kids…LIke boyscouuts, or football, and church.. The only thing I did was go to school got a 2yr degree and now in LPN school; Also, I was an Executive secretary for a large famous Corporation when we were first married…so I would manage his work…even though his boss didnt know.. I did a lot of contract work, including finding contracts for him…so basically work from home for my husband Everything has been for my husband!)

SO
I said I would leave, packed my stuff, he fixed my car, bought some stuff for nursing school I needed, and gave me just a little$ and I went to me moms. I was going to be back on Sunday to pick up a check I needed for school.
Well I came back on Saturday instead and called told him I was there and wanted to see the kids.
He blessed me out and said I was never coming back that I had LEFT the home and we were getting a separation agreement next week!
WELL he was in our house because that first arrest I had let him back in to work.

I could have had him arrested for what he did to me that day I had left…So three days later (sunday)
I had brusies on me where he had pushed me. I had him arrested…this time It was a felony because he violated the first order not to harrase me.

By this time I was thinking it was probalbly best just to leave everything and not fight it anymore.
He said I have family here and he doesnt, so I have a place to go.
I was tetering back and forth “why sHould I have to give up everthing when He is the one that doesnt want our family together with me anymore.. his ass should be out!”
and “I dont want to rock the boat for him, I have been home for 16 years and taking care of everything while helping him getting up to where he has a big $$ job now…all the shit I put up with him and the house and kids that he didnt recognize because he was traveling..Its His turn to take over EVERYHthing that I know exists and he doesnt understand in our home…. I can now have a time for me”

SO I decided I didnt want to prosecute for the second time of arrest. because he was the only way our kids could keep their lifestyle and I could keep mine…..the only way to get out of it was to prove I have some kind of mental illness…. (i dont)
But I went to a psych. and convinced them I was came out with MEDs and a diagnosis.
When the 2nd trial day came up they dismissed after me convincing them i had a Mental break down and didnt know which end was up because I couldnt remember what happend.
ALSI, I felt horrible because I know there are other cases that are much worse than mine and lots of them deserve to be in prison and convicted.
But I wanted him to stop because the second time